A Fishing Story

I’m not entirely certain, but I believe I have been chasing fish for nearly 55 years. That means I started somewhere in the 5 years of age area. Obviously I could be off slightly, but in my estimation that’s a pretty solid guess. When our daughters came along I made every attempt to bring them into the fishing fold as well. The middle girl became a fisherwoman and we’ve shared many days on the rivers and lakes together. The oldest girl, well, she never got into fishing. I do think there’s a good possibility that she may have been switched out at the hospital after birth with our real daughter who by now most likely has her own fishing show on TV. The youngest of three grew to love fishing, but she has a flaw: she cheats.

That’s right folks, even though I have done my best to instill in her the virtues of honesty, my middle daughter is a straight up cheating individual when it comes to fishing with me. I have bent over backward trying to make sure she walks the straight and narrow road while “casting her net” upon the waters, but when it comes to fishing contests with me she is of the opinion that winning is everything no matter what the cost.

When she and I go fishing together we always have some sort of competition. Who can catch the biggest fish, or the most, or perhaps the first. Often our contests consist of more than one category. It does not seem to make any difference what, or how many fish I catch in these events, she always claims victory. How is that possible? It’s quite simple really. If I achieve the goal of any agreed upon contest between the two of us, meaning I would officially be the winner, Laura always comes up with the same response, “Oh, didn’t I tell you?...today is opposite day!”

Seriously…opposite day? Is that even a thing? According to her it is, but in all my years of competitions of various kinds in the real world I never once came across anything called opposite day. Personally I think it’s just a way for her to manipulate the circumstances…i.e. cheat…and claim victory where none truly exists. When pressed for her reasoning behind such a thing, and why I should accept it as valid, her response is, “Because I’m cute.” Wait, what? Being cute is now an overriding factor when determining the difference between victory and defeat? Wow, just wow.

I have been married for going on 38 years. For the vast majority of that I’ve had 3 daughters. During the course of that time I have become fluent in speaking “girl”. I have also come to the understanding that regardless of what I, or the world for all that matters, think is right, when dealing with a female “right” is all in the eye of the beholder. That being the case, I normally take the high road and concede defeat. I know that I am right, and Laura is wrong, and I’m sure that when presented with the facts the rest of the earth would agree, but being the kind and benevolent person I am I allow her to believe she won whatever the contest was at hand. I suppose in the long run we’ll just keep fishing, and having contests, and I’ll continue to lose them all, but that’s okay, I don’t mind. I’d much rather get to fish with her and “lose” than not get to fish with her at all.

And don’t tell her, but I do think she’s kinda cute.